People you should ban from your life

“You are the average of five people you spend most time with.” -Jim Rohn.

The people closest to you make all the difference in both good and bad ways.  It can be tough to find new friends and add them to your inner circle: people who will help you, support you, inspire you, and encourage you.
Fortunately it’s a lot easier to find the people closest to you who are holding you back. If people like these are close to you, try to get rid of them:

1. Raving Fans

There is a person who thinks your every deed and thought as incredible, amazing, and astounding. Unconditional praise is fun but very rarely helpful. None of us are that smart or talented. Everyone makes mistakes.
But often we don’t realize our mistakes until someone tells us.
It’s very easy to tell someone he or she is great but it’s much harder to tell someone that he or she can do better.
Be nice to these kind of people (Raving fans), but don’t pay much attention to what they say.
Your mom is the only raving fan you need in your life.

2. Devilish Advocates

Devil’s advocacy is sometimes helpful, but a devilish advocate rarely advocates for anything other than their interest, point of view, and ego.

Keep the people who ask smart questions, think and do differently and share lessons learned and offer or help if a problem does occur. Get rid of people who always forecast gloom and doom based solely on their bad experiences.

3. Inside Scoopers

For some persons it’s hard to resist gossip and inside information. Finding out the reasons behind someone’s decisions, the inside scoop about someone’s hidden agenda, the motivations behind someone’s actions… that stuff is hard to resist.

The main problem is that the person who is giving you the inside scoop on other people is also giving other people the inside scoop on you.

The kind of people you want close to you are only willing to share the inside scoop on their own feelings or thoughts. And that’s not gossip, that’s just truth.

4. Backstabbers

Backstabbers don’t care about anyone’s back but their own.

People closest to you should have your back, like you have their’s

5. It’s All About Me(s)

Self interest is good.. Enlightened self interest is far better…but self centered sucks to be around.

Don’t be a Galileo and try to change their minds. So, Just Let go and move on.
Self centered kind of people won’t even notice you’re gone.

6. The Walking Dead

Some people wander aimlessly from day to day, task to task, year to year, with no goal, no purpose, no plan.

Surround yourself whit people who have big goals, ambitious plans, meaningful purposes. Even if their goals aren’t similar to yours- and probably will  not be- You will feed off their energy and they will feed off your’s.

Stay away from these kinda people. The walking Dead won’t kill you but will definitely kill your enthusiasm and motivation.

Posted By: Pawan Lubana on Saturday, 21 December 2013

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How to know when people are lying.

Lying well is very hard but not in the way you might think.

We usually find nervousness as a sign of lying. but that’s actually a weak prediction. some people are very good at lying without the fear of getting caught. Others are great at hiding it.

Lying is hard because it makes you think. 

Lying can be demanding. You must construct a falsehood that’s acceptable on its face and must suppress the truth and doesn’t contradict anything known by the listener.

We blink our eyes more often when we’re nervous, but blink less under cognitive load. recent studies reveal that we blink less when deceiving. People fidget more in nervousness but cognitive load has opposite effect. In deceptive situations people often fidget less. And under cognitive load , me use less hand gestures while deceiving and both sexes often employ longer pauses when speaking deceptively.

Don’t look for the signs of stress, look for the indicators that a person is thinking hard.

They tend to cut down on gesturing, not to move their legs and arms too much, give shorter and less detailed answers, repeat the same phrases. Finally is increased evasiveness, as liars avoid answering a question completely, perhaps by asking a question of their own or by switching topics.

Experts don’t rely upon common signs of lying. They seek to increase liar’s cognitive load and make the person think harder.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS TO JUDGE THE PERSONE

1. Changes in pitch or tone

It’s all in the voice! Next time you think someone is lying, listen very closely to the sound of his or her voice. While it’s not always the easiest thing to detect, any change in pitch (higher than normal) or tone (lower than normal) indicates you might have a fibber on your hands. Pay attention to the speed at which they talk too. You wouldn’t want anyone to pull a fast one on you (literally), would you?

2. Hiding behind the hands

You know how people will put their hands over their mouth after they accidently blurt something out? Well, liars might touch or shield their face with their hands, as though they’re attempting to hide behind their lies or legit stop them from spilling out. Watch out for any nose scratching or ear pulling as well, both signs of potential liars.

3. Excessive lip licking

Unless you catch your roomie right after the Jimmy John’s incident (in which case, she might still be licking her lips!), this can be seen as a sign of deceit. Lying puts a lot of stress on the body, and a major symptom of high stress is a dry mouth. Hence why liars will lick their lips more than usual.

4. Shoulder shrugs mid-speech

A regular shoulder shrug means, “I don’t know” or “I’m not sure.” So if someone shrugs their shoulder while they’re talking, it means they don’t agree with the words that are coming out of their own mouth. Take John Edwards, for example – when he told the world he didn’t have an affair, his shoulder flew up, signifying he wasn’t being honest.

5. Lack of hand gestures

Just as someone hiding behind their hands is a marker of deception, if someone suddenly stops using their hands to speak or becomes really stiff, it’s a surefire sign that they’re extremely uncomfortable. They may also grasp their hands together, in an attempt to protect something, usually their story or their guilt.

6. Speaking in a measured way

No surprise here! People who lie typically try to memorize their story. In doing so, this causes them to speak in a beat or like they’re reading straight off a script. Don’t fall for it, even if their performance is totally Oscar worthy.

7. Sweat and more sweat

Anyone who’s ever watched an interrogation on TV will notice how the guilty frequently break out in a sweat or are seen wiping sweat from their foreheads. This is because sweat is a natural stress response. And clearly when you lie, it’s stressful.

   

Posted By: Pawan Lubana on Friday, 25 October 2013

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